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Danny Gets A Job

You try and focus on basketball. What with things about to finally get interesting, what with the tournaments and all, it seemed an apt time. No matter what the calendar says, however, that other sport just keeps intruding. You would think the ACC was a football conference or something.

The big news around these parts, other than whether there will be room in Cameron Saturday night for any of the Crazies after all of the ESPN stuff is set up to, among other things, run the ESPN Crazies Channel and Dickie Cam, is football coaching hires. There has been more movement.

It certainly didn’t take Danny Pearman long to find work. That ‘reassignment’ as Frank’s Special Assistant for Résumé Faxing was a short one. Proving you can’t keep a good man down for long, a couple of days at best, Danny has been hired by John Bunting at Carolina .

It will be a new coaching challenge for Danny. He had no doubt grown tired of working at a successful program and desired to experience how the other half of the ACC standings lived. Packing up the family for all of those bowl trips can be a chore. Coaching at Carolina will certainly give him the opportunity to spend some good solid quality time with his loved ones during the holidays without having to worry about distractions such as getting a team ready for postseason play. There was a silver lining for the Pearmans after all.

Hiring Danny Pearman was a no-brainer for Big John. The number of people around the Tar Heel football office with experience in such things as championships and national rankings is small. He no doubt relished the opportunity to have hanging around somebody with actual first-hand knowledge of how a winning program operates. He likely also tendered job offers to Bud Foster, John Ballein, Diana Clark and Bruce Garnes, and anybody else with an office in Merryman too, but will take what he can get.

What he gets is a solid football coach and all-around good guy who simply no longer fit well into the Tech scheme of things. That Frank felt it necessary to re-organize staff duties does not mean that Danny has suddenly forgotten all of the coaching expertise that has served Virginia Tech and Alabama before that so well. He is probably not going to lose his football knowledge, although that does seem to be an occupational hazard for many of the hundreds of assistants employed by Big John during his five years at Carolina.

Big John seemed ecstatic in the official announcement of Danny’s hiring. Speaking of Pearman, Bunting stated, “Coaching against [Danny] has always been difficult,” as it has mostly been for Big John against anybody who knows what they are doing. Further along in the release, Big John displayed that trademark humor of his so often seen after giving up sixty-points when he said, “we are adding someone who knows how important football is in this state.” If Big John runs out of contract extensions from DickieB, he has a definite future in stand-up.

Of course, all kidding aside, we all know that football is enormously popular in the Old North State, ranking in interest only behind college basketball, NASCAR, barbecue, the Outer Banks, Panthers cheerleaders, professional basketball, golf, Canes hockey, high school basketball, banking, WWE wrestling, junior high basketball, the State Fair, soccer, middle school basketball, Dean-worship, hog-farming, kindergarten basketball, Franklin Street Gay Pride parades, building basketball arenas, Mayberry, the Dixie Classic fair, pre-school basketball, never forgetting the Intimidator, watching paint dry, Duke-hating, rec league basketball, monster truck shows, running cheap cigarettes to New Jersey, Pinehurst croquet tournaments, climbing Grandfather Mountain, the North Carolina Rhododendron Festival, pick-up basketball, the Creationist Taxidermy Museum, furniture, the Cape Hatteras lighthouse, team hopscotch, basketball, basketball and basketball. The interest is so huge that Danny will scarcely notice all of the empty seats in Kenan or that he doesn’t have to shout during games to make himself heard.

It should also be noted that a Virginia Tech football coach will finally come to Carolina . This is only six years after the last time they tried to hire one. I’m assuming that this time DickieB got Danny’s acceptance in writing.

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