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2006
22
Mar

Time Change for Festivus

A-Line Extra.

The Hoos announced that this year’s Hoo Football Festivus will be held Friday, April 21, at 7:30 pm. This will mark a change for the Hoos, hoo normally marked the end of Spring Practice with a Saturday Festivus unless they did not.

For years, the Hoo Football Festivus had been held on Saturdays except during the period in the late Nineties when George, citing a near-total lack of interest in Hoo football, said “to hell with it.” Current Hoo football coach and Great NFL Legend algroh had brought the Festivus back with great fanfare, kicking it off with the celebrated Face-in-the-fan competition.

Hoo officials noticed that attendance had become increasingly light as Hoo fans found a Saturday Festivus conflicted with Hooville-area wine tastings, brunch at the club, Saturday afternoon polo matches, foreign language film festivals at the Vinegar Hill Theatre, chorales by the Hoo Consort, TommyJ family reunions, bridge tournaments, Happy Hour on the Corner, the annual Hooville Dogwood Festival, Lawn croquet matches, Poe readings, watching descendants of Sally conducting spring cleaning at the Rotunda, flower-arranging classes at the Hooville Arts Museum, the Turkish Culture Festival, check-out time from the Hooville drunk tank, WHTJ pledge drives, the Belmont Bash, buying Chad’s way into the University, partners’ meetings to discuss defense strategies in the latest baby-switching lawsuit at Hoo General, making a donation to the Hoo Law School large enough to get Chad out of that Honor Code violation, Hoo fans sick and tired of algroh’s bragging then not delivering and anything else Hoos could come up with to avoid attending the Hoo Football Festivus.

Hoo football coach algroh commented on the move, saying, “I doubt anybody will notice” the Festivus is being held on a different day. algroh noted that the Hoo Assistant AD for Getting People Interested in Football had suggested the Friday night Festivus, claiming Friday night games had helped draw interest to women’s basketball. “Sure, I’ll give it a shot,” algroh said, adding, “We sure would like people to be as interested in football around here as they are in women’s basketball.” When asked if the night Festivus might result in fans getting home late to their fashionable homes in Richmond’s West End or estates in NOVA hunt country, algroh said, ‘halftime will be at 8:30, giving fans plenty of time to get home at a decent hour.”

In a related note, officials at Virginia Tech announced that the cars of faculty and staff must be cleared from all Lane Stadium parking lots by 5 pm on Friday, April 14 to make room for the tens of thousands of fans attending Tech’s April 15 Spring Game.

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