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algroh: I’m Troubled

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Hoo Head Football Coach and Great NFL Legend algroh announced that he was troubled. During his Monday night radio call-in show, algroh said that the near-total ineptitude displayed by his team during Saturday’s 3-23 loss to underdog Wyoming troubled ‘everybody internally.’

The Great NFL Legend continued by saying that after six-plus years under his stewardship of Hoo football, “everybody, coaches and players, are troubled. Nobody could be as troubled as the people here.” algroh summed up the reason for the troubled state of Hoo football these days, saying, “this is all we do.”

algroh pointed out that getting a football team as troubled as the Hoos did not come easy. “Coaches are here 90-100 hours a week. They can’t do much more in terms of effort.”

This determined effort towards troubling the Hoo football program was not lost on callers such as algroh’s close friend Clyde from Forest. Clyde explained that he was a “huge fan” of football as played at its lowest levels and congratulated algroh on his efforts at Wyoming, saying, “We looked like a little-league football team.”

Appreciation for algroh’s troubled efforts was also expressed by a caller from Norfolk. “I will be in the Smithsonian Saturday and have tickets to a bunch of away games,” said the caller. He went on to add that the troubled Hoo football program was due to fans such as himself making the ultimate sacrifice for troubled football, “taking off our coats and ties at games and all that stuff.” The caller concluded by thanking algroh for the troubled program, saying, “I’m sure you’re doing everything you can.”

algroh thanked the callers and pointed out that he was indeed a Great NFL Legend. “I was once an assistant on a team that went to the Super Bowl” and then was a head coach on a team that quit on me and then somehow talked Dr. Casteen into hiring me here, crowed algroh. “It doesn’t get much more troubling than that.”

algroh concluded by saying that while things might be troubled now, “it would be arrogant to say that everything is perfect,” meaning it could get even more troubling. algroh pointed out that “Arrogance is one of the first steps towards failure.”

The Great NFL Legend then reiterated what he said when hired, that he was so much smarter than college lunkheads like Frank Beamer and Bobby Bowden because he was a Great NFL Legend. “When you are used to playing chess it’s easy against guys playing checkers.”

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