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2008
8
Feb

Hoo Quit?

A-Line Extra: Hoo Quit?

02/08/08

Determined not to let heavy statewide media coverage of algroh’s dismal football recruiting overshadow them, the Hoo basketball team responded by laying down and showing a near total lack of effort against Clemson, losing 82-51.

The thirty-point mauling at the hands of the Tigers was the worst loss ever suffered by the Hoos in their brand spanking new JPC arena and the worst overall since the last time a Hoo basketball team quit on their coach, Petey, three years ago.

“I didn’t see this coming,” said Hoo forward and serial quitter Adrian Joseph, who managed to motivate himself enough to hog the ball and jack up shot after shot, repeatedly refusing to involve his teammates. Added Joseph, “At least I got mine.”

Hoo head coach and master of understatement Fallback Dave succinctly summed up the game with, “It didn’t look pretty,” adding, “That’s why we’re getting back to basics, to lose by thirty-one instead of in overtime.”

Fallback Dave said that it was tough getting under the low standards set by algroh’s recruiting, but “we managed to make the emotional and physical corrections to make sure that type of thing [having algroh hog media attention] didn’t happen again.”

Fallback Dave lauded the less-than-capacity crowd at the JPC center. “They were booing our team and pushing each other out of the way in the aisles to be the earliest to leave. It was just like a home football game against Virginia Tech.”

In the competition between the two Hoo coaches to demonstrate which was the most inept, algroh continued his offensive. In a press conference called to claim that bad recruiting was all part of the Plan, algroh proudly pointed to one of the few in-state recruits he did get and how he got him.

Related the Great NFL Legend: “I decided that boygroh was now old enough to visit the big city by himself and he had gone to Richmond. He called all excited. I was busy giving advice to Bill Belichick on his Super Bowl game plan- he took it, too. Am I a Great NFL Legend or what? Despite being busy, I always make time for the children.

“As I said, boygroh was all excited when he called and said he was at a school. I figured he was going to tell me how high he could swing on the recess playground but he said he had found a player. Lo and behold we actually signed him. See Doughty, that damn Beamer didn’t get them all.”

Hoo AD Craig ‘Boy, are we getting into a Tubby full of deep s###’ was not available for comment. He was reported to be attending a lecture by Hoo President Dr. Casteen on how college athletics was really pretty silly.

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