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2008
20
Aug

Magical Bob

A-Line Extra

Hoo Sports Marketing has announced the addition of another act to the algroh’s Follies Football Revue. The same brilliant promotional folks who delivered the Hoo Spring Football Festivus, which has provided such laughter and merriment, said that Magical Bob would be appearing at the Smithsonian this year.

Magical Bob last performed in Huntington, WV, where he could marshal huge crowds and great enthusiasm for his renowned magic act.

Magical Bob would perform outstanding feats of sleight-of-hand, such as having an assistant fill a top hat with the failing grades of players. Magical Bob would then twirl the hat around, tap it with a grading curve and magically pull out copies of final exams. Another trick perfected by Magical Bob was having cash disappear from the pockets of prominent boosters and then magically reappear in the hands of players.

For his grand finale, Magical Bob performed a feat of derring-do that brought to mind some of the escapes of Harry Houdini. Magical Bob had himself locked into a box, which was then wrapped with NCAA violations and weighted down with probation. The box was then flung off a cliff. To the delight of all, Magical Bob appeared off stage unscathed. When the box was opened it was revealed that an insignificant athletic department lackey had taken the fall.

Magical Bob will be joining algroh and his Incredible Shrinking Roster as new additions this year to several long-running entertaining acts in algroh’s Follies Football Revue. Back for another year will be such crowd favorites as algroh producing years of NFL experience out of thin air, algroh performing amazing feats of nepotism with boygroh, algroh continuing to walk the high wire of job security and algroh continuing to tap-dance around tough questions from the media.

Along with the additions to the algroh’s Follies Football Revue, Hoo Sports Marketing also said that algroh would no longer be performing acts of ventriloquism with his dummy Mac. While many Hoo loons had marveled at algroh’s ability to put words into the mouth of the dummy Mac without the Great NFL Legend seeming to move his lips, those in the Hoo administration felt that the act had grown a bit stale. Cited was last year’s ‘Beamer Cheats’ comedy routine.

The dummy Mac has been donated to the bar at the Boar’s Head Inn, where, reportedly, the bartender was entertaining patrons by pouring glasses of Scotch into the mouth of the dummy Mac, then having him exclaim, “I wasn’t fired” over and over.

Hoo Athletic Director Craig ‘Geez, Tubby, they’re gonna blame me for extending the contract of that clown’ Littlepage announced that fans will not want to miss the addition of Magical Bob to algroh’s Follies Football Revue. “This will be great, entertainment,” said Littlepage, adding, “Fans holding off on buying their tickets will certainly want to fork over that extra cash. I know I’ll be there, and not just because I have to.”

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