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2008
15
Sep

Multi-Tech and the Color of $$$

Multi-Tech and the Color of $$$ 09/15/08

A win is a win is a win. Saturday’s annual multi-Tech ACC showdown resulted in victory for the team wearing the garish uniforms. It wasn’t pretty, either in the way the ‘good’ Tech played or was attired, but it was a win. Frank and most all other Hokies will take it.

Tech beat Tech despite Tech spending most of the afternoon driving up and down the field on the Tech defense. Tech held Tech when they had to, and while the woeful Tech offense was often stopped cold by the Tech defense, they still showed that while this might not be a vintage Tech team, they still know what to do when handed turnovers.

Tech turned those Tech turnovers into points and, when the game was on the line, drove the field on Tech for the winning field goal that enabled Tech to escape with a win over Tech.

The winning Tech drive was ably assisted by 30 yards worth of personal foul penalties against Tech that had Paul Johnson screaming and Yellow Loons as angry as a swarm of Hymenopterans charging from their hive. They felt stung by the refs.

I have known enough referees over the years to know there are no deep dark conspiracies to ‘give’ one team all of the calls. Among them was a buddy who was an ACC basketball ref in the 70s and 80s, a time when otherwise rational and grown men would swear on their children that ‘ACC policy’ was for Carolina to get all the calls, no different from those these days that cannot be veered from their conviction that UNC alum Little Johnny directs a vast conspiracy to award all calls to Duke.

Referees, like coaches and players, sometimes simply screw up. This was certainly on display late Sunday afternoon as a referee considered one of the NFL’s best presided over a horrendous call that, among other things, allowed Eddie Royal to engage in his latest demonstration of how underused he was at Tech.

Still, when watching replays, both in Lane and later on television, it was hard not to consider and find amusement, following both of those personal foul penalties against the Jackets, that ‘our’ Tech can sell a heck of a lot more bowl tickets than can the other, and how vital it is these days to the ACC as all of those rosy expansion financial projections slip away, starting with the guaranteed championship game money, for Virginia Tech to be playing in Tampa in early December.

Perhaps Paul Johnson, who complained bitterly about both calls before quickly tracking down and shaking the hand of a referee at game’s end was merely congratulating the offending ump on doing his part for ACC revenue sharing checks. Oh, well, it is best not to look a gift facemask call in the mouth.

Saturday’s game was dubbed by Tech as the Orange Effect game. The new Color of the Week as prescribed by Tech and Nike will no doubt be carried on throughout the season. We can now look forward to Aqua Effect and Earth Tones Effect games in the future.

Perhaps for the Directional Kentucky game Tech’s original black and gray colors can be resurrected. Discarded in the late 19th century as resembling too much that of prison garb, it would certainly be an opportune time to outfit the team and Lane in black stripes for Vick Effect.

While the Vick Effect game might indeed lie in our future, last Saturday was Orange Effect. Tech succeeded in turning Lane Stadium into a stunning display of orange.

Well, almost. Once again, as I have for all other Orange Effect games and any others that exhort me to buy another shirt in addition to the dozen or so maroon ones I already own, I continued to show my independence by refusing to participate.

Tech’s propaganda campaign to sell more shirts had included the words, ‘You don’t want to be the only person in Lane not wearing orange.’ Wanna Bet? Sometime around the 7th grade I discontinued allowing my fashion sense [or lack thereof] to be determined by what the cool kids were wearing. I continue to demonstrate immunity against Tech’s entreaties to spend more money on shirts dyed the flavor of the week. I spend enough on the steadily increasing cost of maintaining my season tickets without subjecting myself to the financial RUTS of buying a new shirt so that I might fit in. Wearing a maroon shirt, I proudly stood out like a raisin in the sunset.

I continue to wage an increasingly lonely and isolated fight against the power. I was dismayed to learn that who was once a reliable ally against the dictates of the conformity of fashion correctness, message board curmudgeon Atlee Hokie, had been seduced and gone over to the Orange side. Et Tu, Atlee?

Saturday had been Atlee’s birthday. As Atlee’s numbers of years among the quick has now reached a staggering amount, only slightly exceeded by those denoting the national debt, I blame his succumbing to the Orange side on the onset of the senility I have long suspected. How else to explain both his tawdry taste in clothing and that ludicrous pick of RUTSgers to beat Carolina?

I am still searching for an explanation for the rest of the so-called ‘Experts’ making the exact same pick, other than the obvious one, that we know practically nothing about football, as Vip seems hell-bent on proving. He was only 42 points off in his Hoo pick. Damn, Vip, at least the rest of us managed to get THAT one right.

I could explain the Russian’s pick on the same Wild Turkey-induced mental haze that caused him to demonstrate that Russians, in addition to their prodigious capacities for alcohol, possess the same ability as a chameleon to morph into a coloring in harmony with their surroundings were it not for the fact that he had already made the DORKS pick before the color change he affected between the pre and post-game tailgates.

Speaking of both stupid Experts picks and teams that screw around with their colors, how about those Heels? A win over RUTSgers might seem a mundane one to classify as a ‘signature’ victory, but it does indicate how far the football fortunes of Carolina had plunged since those heady days of Mack. Butch had only one direction in which to move his current program, which seems to have been the direction he has chosen.

Mack while winning a bunch of games at Carolina also use to carp about how the soothing pastel baby blue did not exactly strike terror into the hearts of opponents. In addition to blinging up ‘beautiful’ Kenan Stadium, Butch has decided to do something about the offending color.

It might seem odd that to generate football excitement you make your uniforms look more like Duke’s, but there were the Heels running for touchdown after touchdown against the DORKS while attired in dark blue pants. Butch has also darkly hinted that just maybe this Saturday will be Duke Blue Effect day in Kenan. No doubt there are already Carolina maintenance workers out disconnecting the plumbing in stadium rest rooms.

Butch’s guys put on a very impressive show last Thursday night. Perhaps his grabbing one of those huge $EC paychecks that will be financed by CBS and ESPN is closer at hand than previously thought. Certainly if Butch is ever going to do something about the lopsided disparity in the results of his personal duels with Frank, this would be the year. Carolina will no doubt be favored over Tech and based on what was seen last Thursday, should be.

And what column would be worth its salt without an algroh mention? Once again, we noticed that Hoo message board loons could conduct board meltdowns with every bit the skill displayed by their Tech counterparts. Well, they have had more practice.

The Great NFL Legend was his usual glib self while explaining away this latest rout. Perhaps he feels that is he keeps droning on and on during his postgame pressers, people will eventually forget that the Hoos were beaten badly, again.

Hoo AD Craig ‘One of these days, Tubby, one of these days’ Littlepage continues to count down the games until ‘I’ve got a guaranteed contract’ reaches a manageable buyout. Where is Carl when you need him?

algroh expressed hope that the bye week before the Duke game will produce positive results on both the practice field and Hooville court room. I’m sure Lalich’s published comment of “I have never used marijuana while on probation” will impress the hell out of the judge.

With a sympathetic judicial system and boygroh spending more time in after school child care and less time at practice, perhaps algroh can achieve his stated comment of “We hope to be somewhat prepared” for Duke. It would certainly be a step in the right direction.

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