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2009
19
May

Boomerang

05/19/09

There is precious little to comment on these days, one of the reasons this site’s updates have become less frequent. There is a bit of news, what promises to be an excellent example of media overkill and an Atlanta announcement that will be of interest to some.

The ACC last week held its Spring meetings. You can’t beat holding meetings at a luxury resort where the primary discussion was how to hold down costs. Cutting out the expense of gathering at a high-dollar playground didn’t seem to be negotiable. Not much else seemed to be, either.

The cost-cutting heavy lifting had already been accomplished before Frank got to his first back nine, which was the decision by the ACC to move most everything scheduled for Boston save for Fredo’s home games to places described as ‘more centrally-located.’ In announcing that the ACC’s baseball tournament wasn’t going to leave North Carolina any time soon, commish Little Johnny claimed it would reduce travel costs. Well, for every school but one. Little Johnny left out of his declaration the line ‘Who really cares about Fredo, anyway?’ but it was certainly implied.

fredofinal1Well, if Fredo doesn’t like it he can always head back to his former league, where he is sure to be welcomed home with all of the enthusiasm shown by Michael in the boat house. That would certainly solve the problem of the money-losing ACC football championship game.

boomerang-kidultSpeaking of problem children, what will be the country’s most notorious boomerang child returns home this week. Michael Vick will be released from the federal slammer where he has been cooling his heels and take up residence in one of the spare bedrooms in the McMansion he bought his mother in happier and more prosperous times. I imagine that when MV Classic announced almost a decade ago that he was ending the pretense that he was actually attending classes at Virginia Tech and was grabbing NFL millions, Ma Boddie figured he was out of the house and on his own. Instead, she is soon to find herself cooking again for most all of her brood. I’m sure there are a lot of Baby Boomer parents also finding their Gen X kids returning to the nest who can sympathize, even those whose offspring were not convicted of felonies.

Also angling for a place at the Boddie/Vick dinner table will be the media hordes that will descend on what was a quiet Hampton Roads subdivision. There goes the neighborhood. Residents can now look forward to the traffic congestion caused by numerous satellite trucks as well as many television ‘news’ infobabes tromping across their yards to ask them such penetrating journalistic questions such as, “How does it feel to be living in the same neighborhood as a heinous criminal such as Mike Vick?” Neighborhoods that find convicted child molesters moving in will get off much easier.

The media circus also won’t give a second thought to disrupting the field operations of the W.M. Jordan Company, Inc., either. We can look forward to those same infobabes donning shiny new hard hats and running around whichever job site to which Mike is assigned. I bet when Bob Jordan’s estimators costed out the project where Vick will work, they neglected to include a Spectacle Expense.

It will indeed be a spectacle surrounding Vick, because that is what is demanded. When one commits a crime judged to be especially horrific by the PETS-inspired Thought Police [one against animals rather than humans], it is not enough to merely pay one’s debt to society by serving one’s time. No, when a politically-incorrect crime is committed, the perpetrator must also engage in a media-inspired dog and pony show to publicly demonstrate the proper contrition.

This has already started, as a recent state news story described some of the trained seal performances in which Mike must subject himself to in order to have a chance at returning to the NFL. One particular story that ran in the Richmond paper outlined some of the acts to be undertaken. Trained seals do less.  The hoops through which Vick will have to jump were listed by someone called a ‘forgiveness expert.’ A forgiveness expert? I have never once encountered someone claiming that specific area of expertise. He was a faculty member at VCU, no less. It would seem that while university presidents across the Commonwealth of Virginia are running around direly forecasting the immediate collapse of higher education if another tax dollar is shaved from their budgets, there just might be just a bit of fat left. A good chunk of it would seem to reside in VCU’s Department of Forgiveness.

Nevertheless, this Associate Professor of Forgiveness will attempt to make himself useful for a change by providing a running commentary on what will be the media’s latest Michael Vick Extravaganza. I can hardly wait.

clota1Over the last few weeks, a few readers of these missives, primarily residing in the Atlanta area, had inquired about visiting the Clubhouse Tailgate prior to the Virginia Tech- Alabama season-opener. While I suspected that the requests were more about meeting and mingling with some of the Tailgate Regulars who are far more interesting, colorful and photogenic than I, those of you asking were told by me that the Tailgate would be located in the Georgia Dome RV lot. It seems that I was wrong about that.

cb10Those wishing to hook up with the Clubhouse Tailgate in the Georgia Dome RV lot will find doing so a bit tricky, since the Clubhouse Tailgate will not be in the Georgia Dome RV lot. We were a bit tardy in requesting space and were informed that it was booked solid. As of this writing, plans are for the Clubhouse to pitch camp in the Norcross area, some distance away from the main attraction. A couple of you with whom I have made contact expressed no interest in tailgating that far away, certainly understandable.

I take responsibility for the mis-information [ there are those who would point out this was not the first time I didn't know what I was talking about] and apologize for any inconvenience.

On the other hand, if anyone finds themselves with a dozen or so spare passes to the G-Dome RV lot, I do know where they can be sold.

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