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A-Line Extra: EWII Ends, Holocast Averted

Expansion War II ended late on Monday, June 14, 2010.

Warring parties agreed to a settlement that will allow Texas to annex other Big X schools and cause a Longhorn Curtain to descend around the remnants of the former Big XII.

Averted was a general nuclear conflagration that threatened all of college athletics and promised extinction of both the Big XII and Li’l E.

Credited with negotiating an uneasy truce were television networks ESPN and Fox, which promised more money to Texas to not join a proposed Pac-16, thus creating a Pacific Southwest Television Network that would have threatened to upset ESPN dominion over collegiate athletics.

Texas was declared the biggest winner of EW II, landing the lion’s share of new Big X revenues as well as the knowledge that it lords over a league where the other vassals will act as ordered. Texas AD Deloss Dodds reacted to events by declaring, ‘Gimme more.’

Another big winner was Nebraska, which managed to escape the Big XII before the Longhorn Curtain descended. The Cornhuskers go from being the patsy of the Tea-sips in Big XII football championship games to an equal and valued member of the Big Teen, with all of the attending television and research dollars. After winning big ala Virginia Tech in Expansion War I, Nebraska AD Dr. Tom Osborne exclaimed, “Whew! That was a close one.”

Declaring himself a partial victor was Big X Commissioner Dan Beebe, who exclaimed, ‘I still have a job. Better Burnt Orange than dead, I always say. What’s that, Mr. Dodds, two sugars with your tea? Yes, sir.’

The big loser in Expansion War II was the Pac-11 and its boss Larry Scott, the Mussolini of college commissioners. A staggered Scott asked, ‘What just happened? There I was, getting ready to show Jim Delaney how conference expansion is done when there was a blinding light. When I woke up, all I had was Colorado. Colorado?’ Remaining for Scott was the job of explaining to his  bosses exactly how it was that he came out of EW II guaranteeing increased travel costs for existing members while, with the torpedoing of the flagship USC football program by the NCAA, likely reduced television monies.

The settlement terms of Expansion War II, leaving the remaining Big X schools seething under Stalinist Texas like Eastern Europe during the Cold War, virtually guarantees there will be an Expansion War III following the conclusion of expected television contracts.


  1. Jay — June 15, 2010 #

    Two past examples of one school becoming lord and master of a conference: Louisville running the Metro Conference and Miami running the Big East. Neither arrangement provided long term stability.
    As the dust settles, there may be more movement as both the Big 12 and the Pac10 now stand at 11 teams and need one more to maintain/create 2 6 team division: TCU to the Big12 and Utah to the Pac 10? It could happen and soon.


  2. JDanWuff — June 15, 2010 #

    Tejas may not like the Horned Frogs being a regular on the Horn’s diet, but it sure would be fun to see it happen.  At least Little Johnny gets to stumble and bumble along with the ACC relatively intact for a while longer.
    I don’t foresee any weakening of the power of the SEC in football.  All roads to the MNC will still be guarded by a roaming SEC behemoth.


  3. Jim — June 15, 2010 #

    I’m not so sure either league expands, at least right away. The ACC has proven that a football championship doesn’t work unless your big television teams are in it. The Pac-11 has just seen its sole ‘big’ program wrecked by the NCAA. How much is an Oregon-Utah game worth?

    Mack now doesn’t have to worry about blowing a Big XII championship. It will cost the other schools money, but not the Horns.


    Jay Reply:

    Well Utah to the Pac10, er Pac12?
    It looks like Texas doesn’t want a League Championship game and in the Big 12, er, Big 10? Texas does not get what Texas does not want. That leaves TCU out of the picture. Too bad the horny Toads have been cranking out quality teams in a variety of sports lately. Who could blame Texas for wanting out of a Championship game it usually loses?
    I get a hoot out of the fact that the Big 12 now has 10 teams and the Big 10 now has 12 teams, Only in the world of NCAA Div 1 football could that happen.
    I picked up a Sporting News’ preseason college football mag yesterday. They don’t even have the right teams in 3 of the BCS conferences, what morons! 😉


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