New Hoo football coach Mike London announced his latest attempt at luring fans into the Smithsonian. London said that he had bought 100 season tickets and would give them away in the ongoing Hoo campaign to get fans to actually show up for games.
“Hoo fans have really embraced me during my first seven months as head coach,” said London, adding, “but, let’s face it, after algroh they would have gone nuts over Fred Goldsmith.” Continuing, London said, “while we have put it off as long as possible, we now have to actually play some games and winning them hasn’t been a strong suit around here.”
London said a contest would be held for fans to submit essays to explain why they are the most passionate and loyal Hoo fan, what they do to express Hoo spirit and how they might stay on a horse. The winner would receive 4 Hoo football season tickets. The second-place finisher will receive 8. The lucky winner will be announced on the next Friday the 13th.
The Hoo coach said there would be a catch, with the winner actually required to attend all home games. Standard Hoo excuses for not attending games, such as a severe hangover, a polo match being held in NOVA, a really good movie on Lifetime, or the team stinking would not be accepted. “We’ll come drag you to the games if we have to,” said London, adding, “Also, we’re not playing Tech at home this year, so you won’t be able to sell your tickets to Hokies.”
Hoo AD Craig ‘Tubby, at least somebody is buying the darn tickets’ Littlepage endorsed the contest, saying, “that’s a great idea. If we could get every Hoo employee to buy 100 tickets, we might be able to afford the salary of Georgia Tech’s defensive coordinator.”