The A-Line It is what it is, unless it is not
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2011
27
Jun

Blameless

The laughs continue to be generated in Chapel Hill.

The news from Infractionpalooza [thanks to Gobbler Country for the term] virtually guarantees that perusing the morning news will leave one in a good mood. Carolina currently is accused of having racked up nine NCAA violations, one more than the number of wins Butch has managed in a given season at Carolina.They run the gamut, from academic fraud to the all-inclusive ‘extra benefits.’ There was a grand time being had by all.

The ‘In for a penny, in for a pound’ approach to rules-breaking does seem reminiscent of the SEC. But, the 28-23 record [15-17 in the ACC] does not. Butch would have already been algrohed in that league, not for violating NCAA rules, which are pretty run-of-the-mill by SEC standards, but for breaking that many and only winning 28 games in four years. Butch’s underachieving history continues.

How the mess is being dealt with also provides more than a few chuckles. In the laughable attempts at ‘full disclosure,’ Carolina hastened to point out that not all of the cars were BMW’s; a few players had specified good old American vehicles. You have to admire their dedication to Detroit iron, although that may be an indication that Jennifer Wiley was paying the repair bills, too.

Fascinating, too, has been the media reaction to the probes, especially at the good old N&O. Senior sports columnist Caulton Tudor, famous for his fondness for the Light Blue, took one look at the NCAA’s report and, in celebratory tones generally used by the good old N&O to describe VE Day, the election of any Democrat, or Carolina’s latest basketball championship, declared that Butch’s name didn’t appear once in the 42 pages and therefore, next year Butch would be…wait for it….Back.

The laughter that this column provoked was instantaneous. Perhaps Caulton was unaware that the good old N&O was actually investigating the allegations, if perhaps not with the fervor in which they tear into Duke and NC State, with at least enough enthusiasm to demonstrate that some shreds of journalistic integrity still exist along South McDowell Street. Or, perhaps Tudor has joined the increasing numbers of Raleigh residents who no longer read the good old N&O.

In any event, the word was passed to Tudor and the next morning he had done a 180. He claimed NOW that Blameless Butch could not possibly have been as stupid as Blameless Butch claimed,  totally ignorant of what was going on. Or, in any event, proclaimed Tudor, he should have known. Given that Tudor often appears dialed-in to upper-level thinking at both the ACC and Carolina, correctly predicting how the Expansion War would end shortly before it did, perhaps this is indicative that at least somebody in the UNC administration is tiring of the large amounts of mud Blameless Butch is dragging an excellent university through. One does wonder the thinking of former UNC System boss Bill Friday, famous for his disregard of the ‘Why break one rule when you can break them all’ mentality personified in Blameless Butch.

Blameless Butch has certainly demonstrated that he will quickly cast aside anybody, players, staff, a young lady graduate, and Carolina’s reputation in a desperate attempt to hold onto his job. With Blameless Butch, loyalty begins and ends with Blameless Butch. This is not exactly the ‘family’ atmosphere Frank promotes at Tech. Well, Blameless Butch did learn his trade under Jimmy Johnson and Barry Switzer, not exactly paragons of virtue. Blameless Butch certainly took their low regard for personal integrity to heart.

We avidly await continuing news of the saga. With no expansion wars to ponder, it does  liven up this Dead Zone. Blameless Butch continues to vow that he will get to the bottom of it, which seems similar to Hitler vowing to discover who ordered the invasion of Poland [“It was Guderian’s fault. Darn Field Marshalls”].

The assistant that was blaked into taking the fall is now lawyering up. How much legal representation does $75k buy you? Jennifer also seems to be acquiring counsel. Having already indicated that Carolina athletic [and the son of Blameless Butch] tutors are among the highest-paid employees in the system, she is now demonstrating that Durham kindergarten teachers make sufficient incomes to afford high-priced lawyers.

And through it all, Blameless Butch continues to sit in his office staring at the telephone, asking, “What is that contraption?” before assuring all, again, that he knew absolutely nothing.

This is great fun.

6 Comments

  1. techcutter — June 27, 2011 #

    So great to have the A-line back on a regular basis and to have the Helen Keller of coaching – “I neither saw nor heard anything” – supplying you with some much material.  

    Reply

  2. Chris — June 28, 2011 #

    Blameless sounds like a Garth Brooks song.  Where are all our parody song writers.  Get to work!

    Reply

  3. Randy Barnhart — June 28, 2011 #

    “What is that contraption?”  Caught me off guard with that line, Jim!!  Almost spit coke on my laptop.  Very funny stuff. Thanks.

    Reply

  4. Neal Tugman — June 28, 2011 #

    You are 100% dead on. Everyone that walks upright and has thumbs knows that UNC cheats and yet the UNC fans think they are so perfect. They have cheated in every way possible to lose 2 Tire Bowls. Great article.

    Reply

  5. Hardcore Hokie — July 3, 2011 #

    Can we just abbreviate Blameless Butch to “B.B” from now on as it is going to be a long summer for UNCheat fans! I’m amazed at they are in total  “de Nile” (not a river in Egypt).I am still fearful that they will not get the harsh punishment that they so richly deserve.

    Reply

  6. JDanWuff — July 28, 2011 #

    The best sit-com writers in Hollywood couldn’t conjure up a script as funny as unc-ch(eat)’s mess.  Ringling Brothers now knows where to shop for clowns.

    Reply

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