In a remarkable bit of timing, the ACC has announced that Notre Dame will join the conference for all sports but football.
The announcement, timed to hit seconds after this page was updated, also includes a provision for the Irish to play 5 games annually against ACC teams. ND will face every ACC team at least once every 3 years, with extra games expected against Duke, Fredo, Maryland and anybody else who happens to finish at the bottom of the league standings.
Notre Dame will also participate in ACC bowl games, touching off wild celebrations in places like Nashville and Shreveport.
Notre Dame Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick said that while choosing between basketball games with Duke and North Carolina or whatever Directional Whatevers the Biggie E was a tough call, he said in the final analysis it became, “UCF? REALLY?”
ACC Commissioner John ‘Little Johnny’ Swofford said that “The ACC was founded on the cornerstones of balancing academics, athletics and integrity,” and making boatloads of cash, adding that the Irish fit that bill and fill the coffers perfectly.Most importantly, said Swofford, were that Notre Dame was not currently on NCAA probation or even being investigated, unlike about half his conference.
Addressing previous statements by various ACC officials and school presidents about the ‘all-in’ requirement of playing all sports, Swofford said, “When did we ever say that? Well, maybe in an African Studies class at Carolina, but who was there to hear it?”
Notre Dame becomes the latest school to escape the shrinking Biggie E, which had already been rocked by the departures over the last decade of virtually every single football school. Biggie E little wig Mike Aresco stated that yet another school running away was no longer a big deal and he had a lengthy list of quality replacements, including such renowned basketball powers as Molloy and Loma Linda, adding that maybe somebody could come up with some new directions.